Hello, we’re the Johnsons. We like to have fun.
what’s a fun haver? behold, the genius of Jeff Tweedy:
JT: Thank you very much. Is everybody havin’ a good time?
[audience cheers]
JT: Everybody’s havin’ a good time. Alright. That’s great.
[someone from the audience]: Are you having a good time?
JT: No, not really. [audience laughter] No! But that’s okay, I’m not [supposed to]… I’m working. I’m supposed to be having an “okay” time. Mostly it’s just trying to be focused. No I had a revelation on stage in Kansas City, Missouri…
[audience laughter]
JT: You think Kansas sucks… You ever been to Missouri? I grew up across the river from Missouri.
[audience cheers]
JT [to someone in the audience]: You from Missouri? St. Louis? Yeah, hard to get worse than that.
[audience laughter]
JT: But uh… I realized… On stage sometimes you have epiphanies… Where you have to talk to the audience, you have to kill time, and say things to them, because people paid you to do that… and so I open my mouth and stupid sh*t comes out and then sometimes I think about it later and think, that’s pretty true.
[audience laughter]
JT: I’ve been a little bit obsessed with David Lee Roth for a long time. Started out being obsessed with hating him. When I was little. When I was a little kid, I hated him. And then I got older and realized I hated him because I, I wanted to be him… and I couldn’t be him… and then I got a little bit older still, and I realized, I hate him. And I just don’t hate him; I hate everyone like him. I hate f**kin’ fun havers! [They] shouldn’t be able to have fun so easily. There’s a word for that. Alcoholic.
[audience laughter]
JT: Right? [Your] goal in life shouldn’t be to have fun!? Or to be happy!? It should be to be fulfilled, right? Alright. So I was right all along is all I’m gettin’ at. As a ten year old boy I intuited that there’s really something wrong with this man.
[audience laughter]
JT: But it wasn’t the spandex that tipped me off… it was the smile! Anyway. You know what? Here’s the deeper revelation: we work really hard in our lives to dismiss things that we can’t do. Right? So, I can’t be happy all the time, so it’s not important. Or you know, like somebody in a punk rock band, “I hate melody.” Because they can’t write a melody. That’s just an example…
[audience laughter]
JT: I’m not naming any names… But you know what I mean. We draw lines in the sand. And then you’re like… you think about it… “well I hate that SO much… because I can’t DO that…” Eh, I’m done. I think I filled my quota of words. This microphone is acting weird. It was more spontaneous when I gave my rant about fun havers in Kansas City… but I still hate ‘em.
[JT proceeds to play Jesus, Etc.]
JT: Actually, none of what I just said is true because I LOVE David Lee Roth. And I just realized, he’s f**king AWESOME! YOU try and do that! Have you ever heard the vocal tracks soloed out, by themselves? On Panama, or anything like that? Go on the Internet and look up “David Lee Roth Vocal Tracks Solo.” It’s some of the most inspired singing of all time. I can’t do it.
